The Art of Thriving After Graduation: Unveiling 4 Stress-Reduction Secrets
As summer rolls around and people graduate, many stressors arise regarding college, career, and life decisions. Some of the questions I get asked are, "How can I deal with all that stress?" There is a lot of pressure on young adults to do well and excel; while a bit of pressure is beneficial, it can become overwhelming for some. So how do we deal with all these high expectations and strains of life?
Within the South Asian culture, there are often high expectations to excel academically and professionally, with particular emphasis on careers such as medicine, law, and engineering. Succumbing to these expectations, I pursued a medical career, earning my bachelor's degree in biology and psychology and attending medical school. However, the pressure and demands took their toll.
I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Panic Disorder in my first year of medical school, leading to medication and therapy to manage my anxiety. Despite initial progress, during my preparation for the USMLE Step 1 exam—a comprehensive assessment of knowledge from the first two years of medical school—my anxiety intensified to a debilitating level. The overwhelming pressure to excel and be the best became too much, and I lacked the coping mechanisms to handle the stress.
My physical and mental health deteriorated as I experienced a loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, depersonalization, derealization, and intensification of anxiety symptoms. I reached a point where I became agoraphobic, unable to leave my house for an entire month. Anxiety plagued me while driving, and I developed fears that extended to numerous aspects of life. This continuous state of anxiety endured throughout the nine years of my struggle with anxiety disorders, manifesting as fear of flying, driving, fainting, and various other anxieties. Living in constant anxiety, I realized it took immense bravery to face that discomfort and carry on, demonstrating true strength.
My body's response signaled the need for change and self-care. I believed I needed to earn my parents' pride and that my worthiness relied solely on becoming a doctor. However, when I opened up to them, they expressed unconditional love and pride, assuring me that my career does not define my worth. They reminded me that, as humans, we possess inherent worthiness independent of our professional paths. Therefore, it is vital to remember that your career does not define you, and you are worthy just as you are—worthy of love, a fulfilling life, and good health. You deserve all of the treasures of life.
On my journey to recovery, I found many strategies and techniques that actually worked - that later turned into my book, "Take Your Lunch Break: Helpful Tips for Relieving Work-Related Stress." I invite you to explore my book for more methods of thriving despite anxiety.
Today I'll share four tips to lead a less stressful life:
Transform Your Relationship with Stress: Stress is a natural part of the human experience. While we all encounter stress, our responses and reactions to it differ. Reframing your thoughts can be helpful. Psychologists have found that perceiving stress as a challenge (eustress) rather than a hindrance enhances job performance and overall well-being. Instead of denying stress, acknowledge it and harness its potential by recognizing that it arises because you care. When stress occurs, take slow, deep breaths, welcome it, and continue engaging with life. Your reaction to the stress fuels further adrenaline being pumped, so if you are indifferent, your body will stop pumping more stress hormones. Use stress as a motivator instead of an inhibitor. For instance, if you have a deadline and feel stressed (which is normal), use that stress to get your work done and be productive. Shift your perspective from "I have to" to "I get to," emphasizing the opportunities presented.
Allow Yourself to Experience Emotions: Life entails setbacks, such as poor grades, failure, or heartbreak. Permitting yourself to feel the emotions accompanying these downturns is crucial. Heartbreak hurts, and it is normal to feel sadness. You can effectively manage anxiety by acknowledging and validating these emotions instead of denying or suppressing them. Understand that experiencing emotions is a natural part of the human experience. Afterward, use these emotions as motivation to pick yourself up, learn from the experience, and grow.
Embracing Your Differences: Growing up in a small, predominantly white town in the United States, I was one of only two Pakistanis in my class, which resulted in a lack of diversity and a persistent sense of not belonging. Rather than attempting to conform to societal expectations or fit into a predetermined mold, embracing your unique qualities and differences is crucial. Celebrate and honor what makes you who you are, striving to live authentically. You may assume various roles as a spouse, parent, or CEO throughout life. Learn to embrace your uniqueness, embrace your greatness, and strive to live your best life.
Remember the Healing Power of Love: Western culture often emphasizes independence and self-reliance, promoting the idea of accomplishing everything independently. However, learning to ask for help is a valuable skill. As social creatures, humans need connections with others. When we become depressed, our instinct to isolate ourselves arises as a protective mechanism, but it is precisely during those times that we need human connection the most. Pushing through the urge to retreat, meaningful human-to-human connections can provide immense healing. In its various forms, love is a powerful healer—hugs included.
Congratulations to all those graduating, and cheers to your bright future! Lastly, when you're worried about stepping outside your comfort zone, remind yourself, "It feels scary because it's unfamiliar, not because I'm incapable," said Michell C. Clark. Remember, you can do hard things, and the storm always passes!
Until next time, take care of yourself!
♡ Massoma
