Six Key Love Lessons From a Decade Together

Happy February and Happy Valentine’s Day! This year is a very special year, as my husband and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in July, I find myself looking back on the journey we’ve shared—its joys, challenges, and the countless lessons it has taught us. A decade of partnership is a milestone worth celebrating, and it’s also an opportunity to reflect on how relationships shape not only our lives but also our mental health. 

Relationships Are a Journey

Relationships are not about perfection; they’re about navigating imperfections together. Over the years, I’ve learned that communication, empathy, and shared goals are essential to keeping our connection strong. These weren’t skills we mastered overnight—they are tools we’ve honed with time and patience.

One of the most profound spiritual insights I’ve gained is that thriving relationships stem from two whole and complete individuals coming together, not to fill a void but to complement each other’s life journeys. My husband and I are like two free birds, each capable of soaring independently but choosing to fly together. Love, in this sense, becomes a mutual exchange of energy, a source of upliftment and inspiration, rather than dependency.

By respecting and honoring each other as individuals with unique paths, we’ve cultivated a deeper bond. Supporting one another’s growth and celebrating each other’s freedom has allowed us to thrive as a couple. This perspective has reinforced the importance of self-love and self-care; when you nurture yourself, you not only become more attractive to your partner but also more balanced and supportive within the relationship.

6 Key Love Lessons From a Decade Together

1. Support Each Other’s Self-Care
   Allowing space for self-care is essential in a healthy partnership. For instance, I take care of the kids while my husband goes to the gym or other hobbies, and I carve out time for myself when they’re in school. We actively encourage each other’s hobbies and personal time because we know it makes us better parents and partners. Prioritizing your mental health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for a strong relationship.

2. Show Appreciation
   Small gestures, like leaving a heartfelt note, saying a genuine “thank you,” or surprising your partner with flowers, can make a significant impact. These thoughtful acts of kindness show your partner they are appreciated and loved, strengthening your bond in meaningful ways.

3. Communicate Openly
   Early in our marriage, I used to assume my husband could read my mind—spoiler alert, he couldn’t. I would get frustrated when he didn’t intuitively understand my needs or feelings. Over time, I learned the importance of expressing myself openly and listening with intention. Honest conversations build trust and help prevent minor misunderstandings from escalating into larger issues.

4. Prioritize Emotional Intimacy
   Life’s demands—work, kids, and other obligations—can sometimes pull us in different directions. I’ve been guilty of prioritizing my children over my husband, but I’ve come to realize how vital it is to nurture our bond. Now, I make a conscious effort to plan one-on-one time with him, whether it’s a date night or simply sharing a quiet moment together.

5. Embrace Growth
   Relationships evolve as individuals grow. There have been times when we grew together and times when we had to work hard to reconnect. But our shared commitment to show up for each other, even during challenging moments, has made all the difference.

6. Seek Support When Needed
   Every relationship has its ups and downs. Seeking therapy or counseling isn’t a sign of failure but a testament to your dedication to the partnership.

Looking Forward

As I reflect on the past ten years, I feel immense gratitude for the love, lessons, and resilience we’ve built together. Relationships, like mental health, require ongoing care and effort. But the rewards—connection, understanding, and shared joy—are deeply fulfilling.

This February, let’s celebrate love in all its forms and nurture the mental health that allows it to thrive.

Until next time, take care of yourself!

Massoma ❤️